DEARMAN is an acronym that can be followed to structure a request asking for what you need and saying no assertively. This is excellent preparation to handle conflict resolution.
- What did you want to ask for or say no to?
- (D) Describe the situation that you are reacting to. Stick to the facts and use nonjudgmental statements.
- (E) Express how you feel about the situation.
- (A) Ask for what you want or clearly say no.
- (R) Reinforce your position before the other person responds by describing the benefits of getting what you want.
- (M) Be mindful and stay focused on your goals. Don’t get distracted by other topics.
- (A) Appear confident in voice tone and body posture.
- (N) Be willing to negotiate and find a middle-ground solution with the other person. Be willing to make concessions.