id: 30722240 updated: 2023-08-01 title: #139 Laurie Santos — the Pursuit of Happiness author: The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish share: true readwise_url:


Title: > 139 Laurie Santos — the Pursuit of Happiness Authors: The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish Category:#podcasts Number of Highlights: 1 Source URL: Date: 2023-08-01 Last Highlighted: 2023-07-16


Misconceptions About Happiness

Key takeaways:

  • Many people put effort into trying to be happy, but still struggle
  • Misconceptions about what will make us happy often lead to disappointment
  • Our minds can deceive us about what will bring true happiness

Transcript: Speaker 2 We put a ton of effort and energy into being happy, and yet so few of us actually seem happy. Why not? Like what misconceptions do we have about happiness?

Speaker 1 But i think it’s important start with this idea that we put so much effort in right? Because i think you could sometimes think about happiness if like, oh, we’re all not feeling so happy, and that’s cause we’re not, we’re not trying. Like we need to try more. And i think that’s not the problem. I think people are putting tremendous energy into the kinds of things that they think are going to make them feel good, feel successful, you know, d lead to a meaningful life. But then, even though we’re putting in this much effort, we’re cined an not getting anywhere. And i think the issue is that our minds, what, the way i like to talk about t on the podcast, is that our minds lie to us about the kinds of things that make us happy. We have these strong intuitions that if this would happen, i would be happiy ever after, right? Ounow, like, id have the perfect job, or if i get a higher salary, or if i get a certain acolade at work, if i become partner, or fo my students, if i get, you know, perfect grades, like, people think if those things happen, that they’ll feel happier. And, you know, there’s studies that look at people who get those wonderful things and, yah, you get a little happiness boast for a little while, but it doesn’t seem to last. Lasting happiness comes from something else. And so, yes, so the problem isn’t that we’re not work in it. It’s that we have these misconceptions about the kinds of things that are really going to make us feel better. But, you know, we really need, we need some like work to figure out the right sorts of things that will make us feel good.

Speaker 2 So the way i think of people like this, i call them happy if, or happy when people. Cause they’re not happy in the moment, they’re happy when something, when i get a promotion, when i get a relationship, when i get a new car, when i get a new house, i’ll be happy then. And then, why is it that we never seem to be happy when that happens? Ye, this. This is s that researchers call the arrival fallacy. It’s really like the happly ever after fallacy. Like, when this happens, i’ll be happy.